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Writer's pictureKala Ramesh

THE HAIBUN GALLERY: 21st Nov 2024 Prakash Thombre, artist.

hosts: Kala Ramesh & Firdaus Parvez

A Thursday Feature 21st November

Prakash Thombre

Ink sketch and write-up by Prakash Thombre, Pune.



The Enigma:

A figure cloaked in shadows, this enigmatic character moves silently through the world, their presence barely noticed but always felt. Their face, often obscured, reveals little about their true intentions, leaving others to wonder if they are friend or foe. With an uncanny ability to be in the right place at the right time, they seem to know more than they let on, as if they are always one step ahead in a game only they understand. Secrets cling to them like the night, and those who cross their path are left questioning reality itself.


Challenge:


Enjoy the ink sketch by artist Prakash Thombre and then read what inspired him to draw this figure.


Write a haibun on a person you know well. Some striking character sketches about their personality that bring them alive for your readers.


Haibun outside this theme is also accepted :))

Have a whale of a time, while you are at it!



PLEASE NOTE:

1. Only two haibun per poet per prompt.

2. Share your best-polished pieces.

3. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written.

    Let it simmer for a while.

4. Post your final edited version on top of your original verse.

5. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.


We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished haibun (within 300/250 words) to be considered for inclusion in haikuKATHA monthly journal.


Important: Since we're swamped with submissions, and our editors are only human, mistakes can happen. Please, please, remember to put your name, followed by your country, below each poem, even after revisions. It helps our editors; they won't have to type it in, saving them from potential typos. Thanks a ton!


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PLEASE NOTE:

1. Only two haibun per poet per prompt. Please put your name and country of residence under your poem, it makes the editors' work easier. Thanks.

2. Share your best-polished pieces.

3. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written.

Let it simmer for a while.

4. When poets give suggestions and if you agree to them - post your final edited version on top of your original version.

5. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.


We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished haibun (within 300 words) to be considered for inclusion in the haikuKATHA monthly journal.

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191 Comments


mona bedi
mona bedi
Nov 26

Post #2

26.11.24


the letter still unopened


raindrops on my window this wish to be left alone


Mona Bedi

India


Feedback appreciated:)


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This is so sensitive, Mona.

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I'm able to edit the post now!!

Just trying once again.


See! It's working.

Edited
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Yay! That's good to know. I'm going to try...


It works! Thanks, Kala and Kevin :)

Edited
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#2 25/11/24 Prompt- Ink sketch and write-up by Prakash Thombre


Fullness


Grandma grew up in a family where food was a luxury—fermented rice with chili or scraping millets from the pan-boiled day end was all that her family could forage from others. At night, a rumbling stomach and whimpers of hunger kept her awake.

She married Grandpa, and overnight, she had more than she needed. What her stomach could not take was pushed into wooden almirahs. None could enter her room; the almirahs formed a fort she presided over. Food stashed away in them spoiled, and once the rot set in, she threw them out and refilled more food.

Grandma starved, the rats ate, and the almirahs became soggy with…


Edited
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Thank you,Vidya! I am glad this haibun resonated with you.

The haibun ends with the phrase 'lost their home,' to allow the readers to find the ending as per the narrative of their mind. It can be Grandma metaphorically losing her home as her life's anchor the almirahs which stocked her food collapsed. Or literally losing her home,as in the collapse of the almirahs led to her losing her mind,hence she had to be shifted to a mental facility.

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Gembun

 

#2

 

artful dodger

 

every word

in a pocketful

of mirrors

 

Joanna Ashwell

UK

 

Feedback welcome

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Thank you Kala.

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Revision


Freefall

 

I’m pushed up against the wall and can hardly breathe as his grip tightens around my neck.  If all the years of teaching Tai Chi has taught me anything, it’s to go with the flow.  I stop resisting despite my urge to fight back, kick and scream.  Instead, I take soft breaths of what little air is left.  I coax my muscles to relax which makes him even angrier.  He continues to hurl verbal abuses, his spit in my eye.  I rest my awareness on the sound of emptiness, letting his face shift out of focus.  There is no flashback, no movie in reverse.  Just void, a calm knowing I’ve done my best.  I have lived and…


Edited
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Dear Kanjini,


I hope this is not something you have had to go through. But if that's the case, big hugs to you.


I found your narrative 'gripping'. (I'd rather a gripping narrative.) And as the narrator calms herself down I found myself racing to read further to know what happens. A beautiful jux of tone and effect.


And the one liner is so much better than the ku in the original.

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