THE HAIBUN GALLERY: 16th January 2025. Haibun analysis

hosts: Kala Ramesh & Firdaus Parvez

mentor: Lorraine Haig

A Thursday Feature 16th January

Haibun Analysis: Every Death had and will have a beginning

Genjuan International Haibun Contest. An (Cottage) Prize

Whispers

by David McCullough (Japan)

A February sky rose — grey pillows of turbulent cloud that soared in heavy, roofless towers above the crematorium. Lit by the lowering sun, every colour was painted on that air; purples, greens, flashes of fire. Diminished, far below, women in windblown hats huddled with men in dark suits. There was a minister with a fading, professional smile.

At a nod from the undertaker we six gathered. Two pallbearers lifted the coffin. We all stepped close. The trolley was whipped away. The weight of the wood came heavy onto our shoulders. We straightened our knees.

From far away a sudden thunder shook the sky. Dry leaves lifted. A hiss hurried over the car park … white hailstones came flashing to rattle on the coffin lid. We moved toward cover. At the chapel doorway we stopped, spilling shards of ice across the granite floor. We held our breath, then entered to lay the box at the front of the room.

A quiet body rested there. Waited to be lowered into hot fire.

The proper end to a decent life.

And yet, and yet; I could not bear to see it go.

After the service, people stood, murmuring to each other.

I went up to the box.

With one hand clutching the hand of my daughter I lifted the other to touch my father for the last time.

eyes closed,

fingertips on oak —

the sound of hail

giving way to rain

Challenge:

Death the Great Leveller.

Death that no one can escape from.

Kabir called Yama Raja (the lord of death) a thug! a robber, a thief.

Anytime I think of death, Lenard Moore's classic haiku comes to mind:

hot afternoon

the squeak of my hands

on my daughter’s coffin

—Lenard D. Moore

Please remember that the haiku needs to be strong and a stand-alone poem in haibun. A weak haiku robs the haibun of its strength.

Write a haibun on the theme of death. Every end has a beginning, from which it will rise.

So, go for it.

PLEASE NOTE:

1. Only two haibun per poet per prompt.

2. Share your best-polished pieces.

3. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written.

    Let it simmer for a while.

4. Post your final edited version on top of your original verse.

5. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.

We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished haibun (within 300/250 words) to be considered for inclusion in haikuKATHA monthly journal.

Important: Since we're swamped with submissions, and our editors are only human, mistakes can happen. Please, please, remember to put your name, followed by your country, below each poem, even after revisions. It helps our editors; they won't have to type it in, saving them from potential typos. Thanks a ton!

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PLEASE NOTE:

1. Only two haibun per poet per prompt. Please put your name and country of residence under your poem, it makes the editors' work easier. Thanks.

2. Share your best-polished pieces.

3. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written.

Let it simmer for a while.

4. When poets give suggestions and if you agree to them - post your final edited version on top of your original version.

5. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.

We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished haibun (within 300 words) to be considered for inclusion in the haikuKATHA monthly journal.