hosts: Firdaus Parvez, Kala Ramesh, Priti Aisola & Suraja Menon Roychowdhury
Introducing a new perspective to our Wednesday Feature!
It is our pleasure to feature well known haijin and poet Sonam Chokki this month. Welcome Sonam! Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions! We hope you will visit us and share your comments and insights on the poems that will be posted.
6. TTH: Do you show your work in progress to anyone, or is it a solitary art that you keep close to your chest before letting it go for publishing?
SC: I smiled at this question. The “work in progress” is often scribblings on tissues, napkins in a café, shopping lists or receipts. Inevitably as the scribblings are illegible the image or idea l had at a particular moment is lost. It is definitely solitary. Whatever survives goes through several revisions to become a publishable tanka. During this process the poem doesn’t merit being shown to anyone.
Here is a tanka sequence and a tanka prose from Sonam.
Unfinished Dreams
in abandoned fields
an ultramarine door
un-warped, un-wormed
its sheen strong under
an iced January sky
battened mud walls
seep odors of space
enfolding voices
silenced in mute oneness
with the cataract-eye sun
the wind plays
with wrecks of unfinished dreams
what use is prayer
when the gods only speak
through the snake-mouth moon
another dawn
flings itself across the hills . . .
a headless monk
rides a black stallion
into the penumbra of sorrow
cattails Summer 2013
Impulsion of Life
First night home from hospital. It is as if I have woken from another world. Sleep seems a waste. The spring full moon rises in a membrane of incandescent clouds. It is lighter outside the house. I put on my coat and walk to the orchard. Against still bare apple trees the plum blossoms are a haze of white. Old prayer flag poles stipple the frost-covered grass. A stirring of wings in the dark interstices of the bamboos. Bats flit in patches of shadow.
I look back at the house. The door is in half-light. Frost on the roof tiles catches the light of the moon. The chimney points a dark finger as if searching for wan stars.
A motorbike revs. Its roar shatters the quiet of the valley.
what can it mean
this wakeful longing
to belly the ground
for the dew’s eye view
of rival stars
Atlas Poetica Number 23, 2015
Rather than commenting on the individual pieces I would like to draw attention to the sheet lyricism of Sonam's work. She uses words that glow, images that are on the edge of dreams and yet she manages to paint very clear pictures in the mind's eye.
Finally we would like to take this opportunity to thank Sonam for engaging with us here even when she had trouble accessing the site. She had a friend email her the poems, she would send her extensive and thoughtful comments to my email (SR) and ask me to post them here. That's commitment! It's been a pleasure working with her.
This week's challenge: Write about your creative process. Not just poetry, but anything creative- the world is yours! Write a tanka or a tanka prose. Tanka off-prompt are welcome too. No tanka sequence, even though we have featured one by Sonam.
An essay on how to write tanka: here
PLEASE NOTE
1. Post only one poem at a time, only one per day.
2. Only 2 tanka and two tanka-prose per poet per prompt. Tanka art, too.
3. Share your best-polished pieces. 4. We are not looking at SEQUENCES NOW, of any length.
5. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written. Let it simmer for a while.
6. Post your final edited version on top of your original verse.
7. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.
We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished tanka and tanka-prose (within 250 words) to be considered for inclusion in the haikuKATHA monthly magazine.
The gremlins are eating up my comments.
Tanka prose #2
Magnum Opus
My daughter pushes away her laptop and phone. “What happened dear?” I ask. She frowns and says “There is nothing worth watching on social media. It’s so boring.” I smile at her desperation and say “You should play outdoor games” . “You are so outdated mom!” she cries and stomps off to the other room.
lush trees
this deep blue sky
a gurgling river …
still we wander afar
to seek mortal pleasures
Feedback appreciated:)
Message from Sonam
Dear Suraja,
When you first invited me for the Tanka Take Home feature earlier this year, l was humbled and uncertain given the backlog of commitments post-Covid. Connectivity was another issue. Thank you so much for the patience, kindness and understanding for allowing the unorthodox posting of my comments via emails to you. I felt whatever feedback l could give was owed to you and the poets.
My appreciation and gratitude to you. Please do convey my deep appreciation to each and every poet, who shared their own work for this feature.
A tanka for you and the poets:
we part
even as we meet
taking leave
l hoard in my heart
the poems we have shared
What beautiful tanka!! Thank you Sonam for a month of brilliant poetry and thank you Suraja for your riveting posts and challenges.
tanka gembun:
Thanks, Firdaus, I'm grabbing your edit suggestion!
It seems widows were shaved.
So have to change the lower verse.
a man is a man is a man
great-grandmother
was widowed
so young
her tonsured head
week after week after week
<>
a man is a man is a man is a man
when great-grandmother
became a young widow
her hairs were pulled out one by one
#1 - TP
Feedback, please.