RENKU: linked collaborative verses: TRIPARSHVA 19 & 20 verses & Call for 21!

Sabaki (lead poet) - Linda Papanicolaou

TRIPARSHVA RENKU - Post 16 SABAKI: L I N D A P A P A N I C O L A O U

POST: Choice of verse 19 & 20 & Call for verse 21

19th JULY 2022

CHOICE OF VERSE 19

Verse 19 is our last non-seasonal verse, and also important because it sets us up for the spring verses. Many thanks to everyone who is still with us as we come within sight of the end of our journey. I noticed with concern when Lakshmi posted that she had hit the saturation point and planned to pass. One thing I have learned from this renku is that it tells me which verse it wants. And she may have noticed, that I keep up with versus as they’re coming in, hitting the “heart” button or offering comments. Usually, I have a few possibilities by 6 AM when the window closes, but this time it seemed to have gone silent. With the submissions deadline past, I sat down to go through the comments thread one last time, prepared even to look through the pocket verses I’ve been saving.

But there it was towards the top of the pile—Lakshmi had indeed submitted offers. One of them, about a puppet performance of the Panchatantra, is just what the renku needed at this moment. I confess to a personal interest as well: Last spring I had been doing a project on fairy tales from medieval Europe, and it led me to this ancient Sanskrit collection of animal fables with their moral lessons. They’re wonderful, and their influence stretches clear to the European tales I was researching. I will leave it to Lakshmi to explain more, but I do think it is perfect in the way it breaks and turns the synchronized silhouettes of the worker into a scripted performance of shadow puppets.

sounds of giggles eyed

the ventriloquist voice

on the Panchatantra / Lakshmi Iyer

CHOICE OF VERSE 20

Since I’ve had the pocket verses out on the table, I’m going to place one of those too. It was submitted long ago by Mona. We have not seen her for a while but she left us a lovely verse referring to bees in a small garden. The renku seems to want an insect. We’ve had offers but the stars have not aligned to place them in the renku. Bees are a spring kigo and this one is a perfect little gem for this slot. It transforms the setting of the puppet show into a small garden, the voices of the ventriloquist puppeteer and the audience into a conversation in a small garden. And the garden sets us up perfectly for the spring blossom/flower verse that comes next.

Here then are the first four verses of our Kyu, including the first of what will be three spring verses that conclude the renku. I am enthusiastic about the progression and I hope you are too.

trekking on Himalayas

when layers

of our false selves peel off / Kala Ramesh

the synchronized silhouettes

of planting rice in paradise / Kanjini Dev

sounds of giggles eyed

the ventriloquist voice

on the Panchatantra / Lakshmi Iyer

our small garden abuzz

with the day’s anecdotes / Mona Bedi

CALL FOR VERSE 21:

In strictly traditional Japanese renku, the season that closes the Kyu is spring, and the penultimate verse is the “blossom seat,” featuring cherry blossom as a signifier of transient beauty. In modern renku practice, other spring-fruiting trees such as plum, apple or hawthorn may be acceptable. In short renku forms such as junicho or shisan, the Kyu may conclude with a season other than spring and the penultimate verse may be a flower kigo appropriate to that season.

Having read about the climate zones in which cherry or the other fruit trees are grown, I am not certain that a traditional blossom verse will be resonant for much of the subcontinent, so we will call for either blossom or a flower verse. Write what works for you. If you opt for a flower verse, choose your kigo from the spring plants list on the Subcontinent Saijiki (https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/saijiki-spring-basant). If you want a special recommendation, I might urge you to think about magnolia or palaash, as these are trees and may approximate a traditional blossom verse.

Again, the requirements are:

3 lines, place (non-person)

Blossom or flower

Link to the previous verse, shift away from the leap over verse. Here they are again:

sounds of giggles eyed

the ventriloquist voice

on the Panchatantra

our small garden abuzz

with the day’s anecdotes

Before you post, do a bit of self-critique. Have you checked (as best you can) that your verse follows the required criteria? How does it link to the previous verse? How does it shift away from the leap-over verse? What new topics or things does it introduce to the renku?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

INSTRUCTIONS FOR SUBMITTING

Each participant may offer two submissions, posted together in the same comment, with your name as you would like it to appear in the renku. Instructions for submitting remain as last time.

The deadline is 48 hours from now. We follow Indian Standard Time (IST). This POST will go up on 19 July at 6 A.M. So on 21 July at 6 A.M, the window closes (IST). All the 21st verse offers must be posted on this thread BEFORE 6 A.M on 21 July.

THE RENKU SO FAR

1. Jo

house warming …

all the flavours of summer

on a dining table / Firdaus Parvi

a dozen ripened mangoes

from the neighbour next door / Kala Ramesh

the gleeful shouts

of street kids rolling

a bicycle tyre / Priti Aisola

an airplane through the clouds

in an indigo twilight / Margherita Petriccione

so close

the snow moon

envelops the field / Angiola Inglese

crackling silence as we bend

over the chess board / Sushama Kapur

2. Ha

caparisoned elephants

raising their trumpets amid

the village prayer beats / Lakshmi Iyer

a pied crested cuckoo

on a telephone wire / Marcie Wessels

after the downpour

she squeezes our clothes

under the banyan tree / Milan Rajkumar

a backlit craving races

into an embrace / Kavita Ratna

those dreams

of my first love

once again / Arvinder Kaur

the merry go round horse

stopped on a high note / Robert Kingston

a crick

in the neck

after Sistine Chapel / Sanjukta Asopa

shadows lengthen

into this new bite in the air / Sushama Kapur

a crick

in the neck

after Sistine Chapel / Sanjukta Asopa

shadows lengthen

into this new bite in the air / Sushama Kapur

moonbeams dipping

into a storm drain and a stream

with the same alacrity / Priti Aisola

the whisper of falling leaves

rolls into a pyramid / Amrutha V. Prabhu

3. Kyu

trekking on Himalayas

when layers

of our false selves peel off / Kala Ramesh

the synchronized silhouettes

of planting rice in paradise / Kanjini Devi giggles follow

the ventriloquist

of a Panchatantra puppet / Lakshmi Iyer

our small garden abuzz

with the day’s anecdotes / Mona Bedi

THE SCHEMA: NOTE ADJUSTMENTS IN VERSES 8-12 OF HA

Side one - Jo

hokku summer

wakiku summer

daisan non season

4 ns

5. winter moon

6 ns

***

Side 2 - Ha

7 ns

8 monsoon

9 monsoon love

10 ns lv

11 ns lv

12. ns

13 ns

14 autumn

15 au moon

16 autumn

***

Side 3 - Kyu

17 ns

18 monsoon

19 ns

20 spring

21 sp blossom (we are here!!)

ageku - sp

Links to our previous week: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/copy-of-renku-linked-collaborative-verses-triparshva-15-16-call-for-17

https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses-triparshva-18th-verse-call-for-19

*** **** ***** LINKS TO RESOURCES:

The schema for our triparshva: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses

URLs for online saijikis: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses-triparshva-4-1

Kondo and Higginson, “Link and Shift, A Practical Guide to Renku Composition”: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/Link_Shift.html

Ferris Gilli, “English Grammar: Variety in Renku”: https://sites.google.com/site/worldhaikureview2/whr-archives/grammar-in-renku

Richard Gilbert’s “Muki Saijiki”: https://gendaihaiku.com/research/kigo/05-muki-saijiki-TOC.htm

*** *** *** *** Linda, Excellent thinking. Just two more verses and what a thrilling journey this has been. Congratulations, Lakshmi & Mona! Gorgeous verses. Just _()_