haikaiTALKS: ONE-LINE HAIKU - a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree
host: Richa Sharma
25th March 2023
First Line
In the first post, Alan Summers mentioned: “Whether we write 3-line or 1-line haiku or even haibun etc..., the written line is such an important part of a writer's armoury.”
So true!
A single line is the basic unit of all forms. The line is the very instrument through which the thought is expressed, giving us a self. The very self that separates us from others. Did you ever feel the “tension” in reading a line? A line is where perception happens. There is not just movement, but also stillness. ¹
Robert Lowell said, “It's much easier to write a good poem than a good line.”
What makes you pen the first line?
The following article by Alan Summers was published in December 2016.
Travelling the single line of haiku - one line haiku / monoku / monostich
You can also view and listen to Alan explaining the following amazing 1-line haiku:
soonlight it switches the night snowfell
lost & found the boy in the bedroom jumble sale (posted at Triveni)
the bell jar still sings Sylvia Plath
nightfall the key turns into a blackbird
I liked another one-line haiku by Alan
sun off stubble a train in its landscape
Alan Summers
otata 4 ed. John Martone
(April 2016)
I hope you are enjoying the magic of one-line poems. Your feedback is truly appreciated.
Source
1.
Hass, Robert. A Little Book on Form: An Exploration Into the Formal Imagination of Poetry. HarperCollins, 2017. Print.
Thank you!
Sincerely,
Richa
turning tide thorns from wounds
joining very late. Not sure what I am doing.
Richa,
Not able to find your April 1st post. Waiting to hear from you. I know you had said you had uploaded April 1 & 8. Not able to locate them anywhere on WIX
Richa,
Before you leave, I’d like to say thank you again for all the sincere assistance extended to us. I really enjoyed working with you on my first attempted one-liners, and learned a lot from you.
Also, could you tell me the names of your favorite South Indian food again? I want to try😋
#2
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autumn crow the dusk sleeps ahead
.
Is this ok? Feedback please
Final revised version: since everybody liked the shaped poem so much, I will submit it as my final version. The problem I had with it is that the wording did not make sense when it was revised to fit the shape. Here is a bit of wordsmithing, keeping the moon shape (and a bonus: try pairing the lines: 1 and 5, 2 and 4 according to the degree of indentation there’s another poem that’s kind of impressionistic: “snow town… moon on mountain…rooftops).
snow
moon on
rooftops
mountain
town
———
First revision:
snow moon the rooftops of a mountain town
First version:
snow moon the rooftops of a mountain town
#1